My Love Story

June 2021

Part 1

It's my wedding anniversary this week! Ahh! I can't believe it's been fourteen years! FOURTEEN! That feels insane to say let alone think.

It feels like yesterday that I met my husband at the boathouse, our eyes locking over the top of a racing shell as we were introduced. I'm not sure I believe in love at first sight, but I definitely felt something when I saw him the first time.

Despite that instant attraction, it would be almost a year before we started dating. You see, he was a coach on my college rowing team. He wasn't my coach, but he was a coach. And thus we were forbidden to date.

Dunh. Dunh. Dunh.

Fast-forward about eight months, and he was with the men's novice team at a national race. I was the team travel coordinator, and I handled the arrangements for all the trips throughout the year, which could range from 10 people to 100. Hotels, flights, rental buses or cars, I arranged it all. Well, fortunately or unfortunately, there was a snag with one of the rental cars and he called me.

After that, the school year and season ended, and we started texting on and off. About organic bananas (no, that wasn't a euphemism LOL) and so much more. We spent a few months doing that or seeing each other in group settings--weekly fun runs, relay marathons. I even took up road biking so I can spend hours with him each Sunday.

Finally, toward the end the summer, we had our first date. Talk about slow-burn. Our romance was definitely a slow-burn that quickly spiraled into a whirlwind. 😂 More on that next time. As well as how it went when we finally fessed up to the head coach. 😬

Anyway, I can remember looking across the table from him at dinner on our first date (we ate at his house because we didn't want to get caught by someone on the team) and thinking “this is my husband.” It was the strangest feeling, and I tried to blame it on the wine, but I felt it. Deep down, I knew it. We hadn't even kissed, and I knew I wanted to marry him.

Have you ever met someone you connected with instantly? If you have a significant other, how did you know you wanted to spend the rest of your life with them?

Part 2

Anyway…how did the slow-burn become a whirlwind?

Well, you see we dated for a few weeks before school was set to start. Oh, also… I may have forgotten to mention an important little detail. Mr. H. was living with another coach at the time. As you can probably imagine, that made things even more interesting.

Somehow, though, we kept our relationship a secret until the school year was about to start. I was going to be a senior, and I really wanted to row a fourth year because I'd be one of the few women on the team to do so and get a coveted Legacy Award. And he really enjoyed coaching and planned to return as a coach that fall.

So…the big day comes. We can't delay much longer and neither of us wanted to hide our relationship the entire school year. 

We set up a meeting with the head coach and went over to his house.

I can't remember the exact details, but I'm pretty sure he thought we were joking at first. Well, I think he actually referred to my dating history (you see, I'd dated several guys on the team over my three years on it), and I guess maybe he was trying to deter my husband from thinking we were anything serious. I don't know, but it makes me laugh now.

When the conversation was done, the head coach presented us with two options: one or both of you quit.

What do you think we did?

 If you guessed that we both quit, you'd be right. Talk about a sacrifice for love.

 Well, sort of.

 We both had goals, and we loved the sport, but the schedule for rowing is INSANE, or at least ours was. I woke up at 4:45am Monday-Friday and at 6am on Saturdays. For THREE years. Three college years. Then there are races throughout the semester, some close, some far. And honestly, despite being disappointed about the whole Legacy Award thing, I was proud of all that I'd accomplished. 

 I'd made incredible friends, including my very best friend to this day. I'd traveled around the country competing in a sport I'd known absolutely nothing about before going to college. I'd tested my limits, and I'd learned so much about myself and working as a team.

 So, yes, we both quit. But I had an amazing senior year. And that winter break, we decided to take a trip. It was going to be to Utah to hike, but somehow turned into a visit to Europe. 🤷‍♀️

It was one of the most memorable trips of my life because (only five months after we'd officially started dating) we got engaged! 💍Hence, the whirlwind. 🌪️

More on that next time, including our failed attempt to elope. 🤦‍♀️

Would you or have you ever give up something for love? 

I have to say, compared to Sumner and Jonathan from Inevitable who are risking both their relationships with Sumner's dad (his daughter and his best friend 😬), my husband and I weren't sacrificing too much all in all.

Part 3

I'm back, sharing the story of my husband and my surprise engagement and failed Europe elopement.

Okay, so back to our Europe trip. Mr H and I went to visit some of his grad school friends from Bergamo, Italy. It was beautiful and so lovely. One of his friends had recently gotten engaged when they were in America.

In doing so, the friend went against cultural and religious traditions by asking her to marry him when they wouldn't be able to see each other's families the next day (or something like that. I forget the exact details). And Mr H asked the friend why he didn't wait until he'd returned home to ask her, since this was clearly a big deal.

The friend kind of shrugged, and said, “Why wait?”

Which I guess Mr H took as a sign? 🤷‍♀️ I don't honestly know. But one night soon after, he asked me if I'd marry him. He kind of slid it in the conversation; I guess he was testing the waters, though clearly I was crazy about him.

I can remember my whole body filling with excitement and this kind of jumping feeling, like I was about to leap into the unknown. But with him, it felt like it was a fun adventure. It was safe.

And so I said yes, though it didn't feel like an official proposal. And there was no ring. 💍

A few days later, on New Year's Eve day, we were in Switzerland. We'd taken a train to the Top of Europe, Jungfraujock. It was one of the most breathtaking views I'd ever seen. And there, freezing on the top of an observation platform, he officially proposed. He hadn't asked my parents for their blessing. He didn't kneel (I don't blame him!). And there was no ring. But none of that mattered. 😍😍😍

I wore a hair tie on my ring finger the rest of the trip. We got drunk at the hostel on cheap champagne that we drank straight from the bottle. And we shared Toblerone (chocolate candy). 

Apart from the summer we started dating, it's one of my all-time favorite memories. 

And then…we tried to elope! The key word being “tried.” 🙈

Part 4

I'm back, sharing the final part of the story of my husband and my failed European elopement and our wedding day.

So, Mr H and I were on the Top of Europe, but it felt like the top of the world. We'd just gotten engaged, and…we almost missed the last train down. We almost got stuck on the top of the mountain. 🙀🙀🙀

Fear not, we made it down and celebrated at the one restaurant in town that was open and not fully booked. And while we ate, we decided that we'd just get married while we were in Europe. We had a week or more left in our trip, which we figured was plenty of time to find a dress and suit, rings, and you know--say our vows.

😹😹😹 Oh how naive we were.

Getting married is kind of a big deal, especially in Italy. We spoke to someone, and you had to apply for a license and post bans on the door to let everyone know so they could object if they had a valid reason. And on and on. There was no way we could do it all in the time allotted. And we realized that we really wanted our families to celebrate with us. Shocker, right?

So, that night, we called our families to break the news. I'd met my future in-laws once. My parents really liked Mr. H, and I knew they'd be happy. Everyone was so incredibly thrilled for us.

This was early January, and we decided to get married in June after I graduated. Planning a wedding in six months sounded like enough time, and it was. But I remember walking into bridal stores and telling them the date, and they'd be like…"Of next year?" When I clarified that it was only six months away, they'd kind of laugh and wish me luck.

In the end, I wore a stunning custom gown by a local designer. It felt like “me," and I liked that it was unique. We had an intimate ceremony at an art museum overlooking a lake (we've since taken our daughter, Munchkin, back!). And a larger reception at a reclaimed barn that was later struck by lightning (on our anniversary!!). 😮